The story of Windsor's phallus-themed park vandal(s) took a surprising turn when a series of childish pranks led to a potential job offer.
In October, city staff arrived at the Windsor Sculpture Garden to be greeted by a large penis carved into one of the bushes. They trimmed the bush back to the wood in an attempt to hide the offensive — though well crafted — shape, providing no shortage of punch lines for late night television host Jimmy Kimmel.
Then it happened again. A smaller bush next to the first became a new, vaguely phallic shape, and authorities still had no clues about who was the talented sculptor with a 12-year-old's sense of humour.
Finally, late last week, the penis-sculpting bandit(s) struck again with an even less subtle prank, writing out the letters P-E-N-I-S with garland. The National Post spoke with Windsor's executive director of parks and facilities, John Miceli, after this most recent incident, and his reaction was in some ways surprising.
"Well, it’s unfortunate that they don’t use their talents with our Adopt a Park program," Miceli told the Post. "We could really use their skills, because they’re very, very good, whoever’s doing it, at being able to, uh, shape things."
He added that if the vandal were to come forward, he wouldn't have a problem with discussing the possibility of a job or a volunteer position to keep those carving skills sharp.