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Tabloids: Meghan Markle’s monarchy misery (and other false filler)

July 8, 2018 11:00 AM
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Cover: Meghan’s only been a royal for a month and a bit and she’s already miserable as a royal. Apparently, she’s feuding with the Queen AND Kate, and nobody likes her except Harry. All this according to a palace spy who is either entirely made up, or an actual snake, judging by how Star says the insider “hisses” the secrets.

A feud is born: Speaking of feuds... Jake Gyllenhaal and Bradley Cooper are in a fight over who’s biopic of West Side Story composer Leonard Bernstein is better. Epic sharks vs. jets rumble notwithstanding, honey, I’m sure they’ll BOTH be fabulous.

Cover: Against everyone’s better judgment, Khloe Kardashian is going to marry her philandering basketball star baby daddy Tristan Thompson. The entire rest of the article is just In Touch speculating about all the ways in which various members of the Kardashian clan could ruin the nuptials. I don’t have room to list them here, but to summarize: Everyone. All the ways.

Fever pitch: A two page spread ranks the hottest World Cup soccer players. I know we shouldn’t body shame anybody, and we certainly shouldn’t objectify them either, but I just want to know: Why only two pages? Why all the shirts?


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